


Can You Hold Me?

by orphan_account



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: AU, Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Sad, Sad Waverly, Sad everyone, Someone is dead I’m sorry, Wayhaught - Freeform, kind of, numb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 11:16:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17303621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Post season 3 Au-ish because no one is missing. Something unexpected happens—leaving the youngest Earp and the team in relentless grief.





	1. -Waverly-

**Author's Note:**

> This is very sad and I’m sorry. Also I'm making a part two, so hang tight.
> 
> Fic title comes from the song Can You Hold Me by NF ft. Britt Nicole (Would highly recommend)

She was gone and Waverly was numb. The strong, badass hero that was never supposed to die was gone and Waverly was helpless to stop it. She thought they’d done it, thought they’d stopped Bulshar and could live happily ever after with the curse broken. It took everyone by surprise, had nothing to do with Bulshar or revenants. But she was still gone.

They had to force Waverly to eat. Had to pry her from her work, though even work didn’t help much, considering the demons were gone and she didn’t have much to do. Hardly talked at all, revealing the severity of the situation to the rest of the team. Waverly Earp being quiet— it really was a somber time. She didn’t sleep much, and when she did she was wracked with nightmares of watching someone she loved die.

“Waverly.” The voice was faint, and she couldn’t see where it was coming from. She was sitting on Wynonna’s bed in the dark, trying to escape, if only for a moment.

“Waverly,” the voice called again. She recognized the voice this time. That was Nicole, her Nicole.

“Waves, hey.” She felt a hand on her shoulder, startling her slightly. “Baby, why are you in here in the dark?” Nicole already knew why, but Waverly was barely speaking. Really, she’d only talk to Nicole.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” Waverly whispered into the darkness.

Nicole sighed,”I know, baby.” She waited for Waverly to speak again, unsurprised when she didn’t. Nicole stood, and Waverly thought she was leaving. She almost cried for her not to go, but the words stuck in her throat. Thankfully, the light flicked on a few seconds later, dimmed from full brightness. Then the door closed softly and Nicole was at her side again.

"It still smells like her in here–homemade detergent and whiskey. Lots of whiskey," Waverly laughed, but it was hollow. Everything about her had been hollow for the last month. Nicole nodded, tracing Waverly's face with her eyes.

"She sure did love her whiskey," Nicole agreed.

"I'm gonna go drink with her," Waverly stated, already up and out the door before Nicole could even ask if she wanted her to come with. Waverly grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniel's and headed into the cool air in only jeans and a sweater. She didn't even notice the cold nipping at her.

The grave was still fresh, and due to the cold weather the grass was nowhere near close to growing. Dolls's grave sat a few feet away, fresh flowers from Nicole propped against the stone. She sat down on the damp ground, facing her sister's own headstone. It read _'Wynonna Earp 1989-2018'_ with _'Hero and Friend'_ underneath. Waverly sighed heavily, unscrewing the bottle and taking a long swig. It barely even bothered her anymore, the burn almost welcomed.

"Hey sis," She greeted, tapping the bottle against the headstone. "I brought whiskey." Waverly hadn't been much of a drinker, but since Wynonna's untimely demise, she seemed to have picked up the habit for her sister.

"Jesus, Wyn, how am I supposed to do this? What am I even supposed to do? The curse is broken, there's no more revenants. Barely been any robberies. I could really use a good mystery right now. Everyone's been trying to get through to me, but I think they're doing just as poorly. All Jeremy does is work, but I think Robin is helping him. Doc has been MIA for like a week now, and when he's here. . . he's not here. It's probably for the best Dolls isn't here to see us all falling apart, I bet he'd be doing just the same. Nicole– well she's being Nicole. Strong and supportive and so, so good. But there's something up with her too, and Wyn, she misses you. Misses the teasing and the last name jokes and you interrupting us when we're alone. She's all I can feel, Wyn. I can't talk to anyone but her–and you, I guess, I won't let anyone else touch me. And if they do, I don't really notice. Damn it, Wynonna, I love her so much. But I'm ruining her with all of this, with me. God, I'd give anything to hear you tell me it'll be okay, and then make fun of me for being stupid. I need you and I don't know what to do without you. How to move forward with Nicole, how to get through to Doc, how to get through to myself for Pete's sake." Waverly shook her head, taking a few more large sips from the bottle. "I'm so sorry, Wynonna. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you. What's the point of having these stupid powers if I couldn't even save you from a freaking gunshot wound?"

The brunette was oblivious to the house's door opening and closing, revealing a ginger cop walking toward where Waverly had her back turned. Nicole lingered a few feet away for a minute, not wanting to interrupt Waverly's moment, but knowing she had to get her inside soon. It was nearly dark, and Waverly didn't even have a jacket on in the cold weather. She decided to wait a moment, but when Waverly reached for the bottle again, she moved toward her.

"Hey, baby, hey," She took the bottle from her, setting it on the grass where it tipped over. Waverly scoffed, pointing to the liquor leaking onto the grass.

"I wasn't done with that."

"C'mon, baby," Nicole sighed. She saw Waverly shiver and remembered how cold she must be. "Let's get you warm." She wrapped an arm around Waverly's shoulder, helping her off the ground.

"Later, 'Nonna," She directed at the grave. "We love you."

"Bye, sis," Waverly mumbled before leaning into Nicole. Nicole lead her into the house, shrugging off her jacket and shoes before making sure Waverly was doing the same.The youngest Earp's face was stoic, and her eyes looked lost.

"Baby, you must be freezing. Let's get you a shower, yeah? I can make you some tea and dinner?" Waverly reached out for her, clinging to the taller girl's shirt.

"No, don't leave. Please." Nicole thought she could die right there. The pleading look in Waverly's eyes had the redhead reeling.

"Alright, let's go then." They walked hand in hand, and Nicole pushed open the bathroom door. She started the shower, turning to find Waverly standing blankly. "Baby, you gotta undress."

"Oh, yeah." Her movements were sluggish, so Nicole walked over to help her. She tugged the sweater over her head, throwing it to the side. She pressed kisses all along Waverly's shoulders and chest, then her stomach. The muscles in Waverly's stomach clenched and unclenched, abs quivering under Nicole's touch. She continued her descent of kisses, but they were tender and chaste, rather than lustful. She reached for the button on Waverly's jeans, tugging them down her legs. Feather light kisses were placed all down the small girl's left leg, and then back up the right. Nicole's eyes never left Waverly's as she unclipped her bra and tugged her underwear down her legs. Then, she gripped Waverly's bare arm softly, helping her step under the warm water. Waverly visibly relaxed under the hot water, but Nicole could still sense the tension filling the other girl.

"What do you need, baby?" Nicole asked.

"Stay with me?" Waverly whispered. Nicole nodded, tugging off her own clothes quickly. She stepped into the small space, water pouring over her head. Waverly leaned heavily into her, pressing her forehead into Nicole's chest. Nicole reached for the shampoo, getting some into her hands. Waverly leaned down a little more so Nicole could put it into her hair. She massaged her scalp, running her soapy fingers through long hair. Then she guided Waverly under the water to rinse her hair out. They repeated this process with conditioner. Waverly managed to wake up enough to wash herself, but Nicole kept her hands close. Even after they were clean, the two of them stayed under the hot water for a while.

"This feels. . ." Waverly searched for words.

"What?" Nicole asked.

"It just _feels_. I know that doesn't make sense, but I just– I haven't felt much lately, and when I have it wasn't good. But you, Nicole, I feel you. And you're so good."

"C'mere, darling," Nicole pulled Waverly in, their bodies flush. There was nothing sexual about it, only warmth radiating off their unclothed bodies. "Let's get dry, yeah?" Waverly nodded against her. She stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around herself before doing the same for Waverly. They wandered to the bedroom and Waverly sat down on her bed while Nicole got pajamas for the two of them.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Nicole asked, pulling a t-shirt over her head. Waverly stayed silent while she got dressed, but then everything poured out at once.

"She wasn't supposed to die. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to bounce back with a snarky one-liner while nursing her wounds with a bottle of whiskey. She was supposed to say something like, _'You fuckers can't get rid of me that easily.'_ or _'Hey, Haught-dog, you hurt my baby sister, I'll make sure you feel red-Haught pain.'_ Then she would've been proud of herself for making a joke about your hair and two about your last name in the same sentence. She would've clapped you on the shoulder, ruffled my hair and made a joke about my impromptu proposal. Now she won't even be there. And not only that, but she got killed by a bullet. Shot, Nicole. Not by some revenant, not killed fighting Bulshar, she caught a stray bullet from a fucking robber. And I couldn't save her, Nic." Tears were streaming down her face now, and Nicole brushed them away, allowing Waverly say what she needed. "What's the point of these goddamn powers if I can't even save my sister from a shotgun?"

"Baby, Baby, you gotta know that wasn't your fault. Julian's ring only had so much left and even his powers had their limits," Nicole subconsciously reached for the ring hanging on a chain underneath her shirt. She fingered the cool metal, reading the word engraved in Arabic. 'Paradise.' It might as well have said 'Waverly,' seeing as there was no difference for Nicole. "I promise you, it's not your fault. Okay, and Wynonna would kick your ass if she knew you were blaming yourself. Then she'd kick my ass just because." They both laughed softly at that.

"It's not fair, Nic. She did _so much_ good, helped us and saved us and to die by a stray bullet? The universe really did like to mess with her. If she was gonna go out that soon, she would've wanted it to be guns blazing, Peacemaker in her hand, shooting some demon in the balls. Oh- and flipping them off, that's crucial," Waverly giggled, wiping tears from her cheeks.

"Listen here, Waverly Earp. Whether Wynonna died from a revenant or alcohol poisoning- no doubt that'd be a likely option, she died a hero. Heroes don't just stop being heroes if they die a normal death. They are heroes for how they lived, how they risked their lives for others, not for what makes their heart stop beating. Wynonna Earp was a hero, plain and simple." Nicole's own face was wet with tears now, and she wiped them away quickly. To be strong- for Waverly. For Wynonna.

"Yeah she was, wasn't she?" Waverly smiled despite herself.

"Damn straight," Nicole agreed.

"Thank you- For being here. . . for loving me."

"Hey. You don't need to thank me for loving you, or anything that comes with it. This is right where I want to be."

"God, I miss her so much, Nicole," she broke, sobbing into Nicole's chest.

"I know, baby, I know," Nicole murmured, threading her fingers into Waverly's hair and holding onto her tightly. "I really miss her too. I miss her stupid Haught jokes and being at each other's throats. I miss the way she made it seem like she didn't care, but deep down, wanted me here too. I miss finding empty whiskey bottles in all the cupboards when it's my turn to cook dinner. Drinking with her. Hell, I even miss the death threats. I know, Waves. And I won't try to pretend I'm feeling the same level of grief you are, because I can't even imagine what it's like to lose a sibling. But I know it hurts."

"So, so bad. The whole time Wynonna was gone it was hell. My only solace was the research, learning about whatever I could. Because knowledge can't hurt. At least, that's what I thought. But when she came back, things were different. I wasn't lost, alone, invisible anymore. We fought together. Then I met you and you brought even more light in. If Wynonna hadn't come home I never would've had the guts to break up with Champ and go after what I wanted. Who I wanted. I wouldn't have you without her. And just as quickly as she came back she left- was taken. She's gone. The saying that the worst things happen to the best people is so, so stupid, yet it keeps proving right in our crappy lives. Why did it have to be her, Nicole?"

"I don't know baby. Life is fucked up that way sometimes. Sometimes, no matter how much research you do, you don't get answers. And after everything, we deserve answers. But life doesn't care about what we deserve. Which sucks balls. And yes, the worst things happen to the best people is a load of bullshit. But we just have to take it as it comes, Baby. Just like Wynonna would do, right?"

"Just like Wynonna would do," Waverly echoed. They stayed like that for a while, just clinging to each other in silence.

"I'm glad you were finally able to talk to someone," Nicole said quietly, pressing a kiss to the Earp's cheek.

"And I'm glad it was you."

"Not that I'm complaining about the new level of communication, but you know I won't be upset if you need to talk to someone else before me. Well okay, I might be a bit upset, but I'll understand."

"I know, Nicole, but you're normally the only person I want to talk to."

"Me too," Nicole sighed, pulling herself away from Waverly for a moment. She flicked the light switch, darkness devouring the room. Waverly started to feel trapped with the dark, but then Nicole was back beside her, wrapping her up in her arms and pressing kisses to her jaw.

"Two more things," Nicole said. "One, I love you a whole lot, Waverly."

"I love you too, Nicole, more than anything." Nicole smiled against her neck before speaking again.

"Two, it is not your fault. I will tell you that until you believe it, and then some more. It is not your fault." Nicole repeated it a few more times, mumbling against Waverly's skin. _It's not her fault_ , Nicole thought. _Because it's mine._


	2. -Nicole-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days later, Nicole is fighting her own demons in the wake of Wynonna's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2/2 of Can You Hold Me? Nicole has survivor's guilt and blames herself for Wynonna's death.

_Nicole was standing on the stoop of Shorty's, waiting for the Earp sisters to finish inside. Her patrol car was parked back at the station, so she opted for riding home in Waverly's Jeep. Finally releasing a breath after the stressful day she'd had, she let her head droop. With the curse having been broken and Bulshar dying merely hours before, PPD was still dealing with the aftermath of Bulshar's almost-victory. The streets were still mostly deserted, save for a few petty criminals trying to take advantage of the ghost town. She'd already put three wasted teenagers in the drunk tank- they'd broken into the deserted liquor store, stopped an attempted assault, and locked up a couple of cow tippers all before the sun even set. Nicole didn't believe cow tipping was still a thing until she moved to Purgatory. It honestly happened far too often for her liking._

_Drawn out of her internal rant by the sound of breaking glass and screaming, Nicole instinctively reached for her gun. Laughing to herself for thinking she could catch a break today of all days. After cursing herself for forgetting her radio back on the station, she quickly sent a text to Waverly, letting her know the situation and to call for backup if she wasn't back at Shorty's in fifteen._

_"Fucking assholes," she muttered, taking off on foot towards the ruckus. Her gun was out of its holster now, resting in her hand. Cocked and loaded, safety off. When she saw where the noises were coming from, she ducked behind a truck to assess. There were three men- young looking and probably stronger than Nicole. The front window of the shop was smashed, and she could see three civilians inside. A customer and two employees, maybe. All of them were armed, one with a bat and the other a metal pipe. The third, a shotgun. She could handle this. Probably._

_She moved quickly and quietly, ducking behind vehicles as she made her way to the storefront. When within firing distance, she stood up, gun trained on the man with a firearm of his own._

_"PPD. Put your hands up!" The man holding the gun only smiled. "Boys, why don't you take care of ginger cop while I get us our money." The other two moved toward Nicole and she moved her gun back and forth on them. "I will shoot if you do not put your goddamn hands up."_

_"Okay, okay," The one to her right surrendered, dropping his weapon by her feet and getting on his knees. Her eyes were moving back and forth between the armed man holding the cashier at gunpoint and the closer one with the bat._

_Everything happened at once. The man with the bat lunged at her, and she barely registered the shot fired from her gun until he was on the ground, clutching his leg and crying out in agony. The man with the shotgun turned toward her, his two-barrel looking her in the eyes._

_"Haught!" She heard a familiar voice before a burning pain flooded through her right leg. The one on his knees had taken the pipe to her knee, and she fell to the ground in a kneel, but not before knocking him in the temple with the butt of her pistol._

_"Fucking Christ!" She yelled, still in too much shock to reload her gun._

_All of a sudden there was a gunshot, and she hadn't fired it. She heard someone cry out, but her mind went into overdrive as the armed one turned back to the three civilians. She barreled into him with her shoulder dropped, knocking the gun free from his grip. He growled out in pain as his body hit the floor. He quickly flipped the position due to his larger size, and therefore, strength. He pinned Nicole to the floor, attempting to pry her gun from her. She braced herself before rearing back and ramming her head into his, stunning him. She took that moment of weakness and brought a knee to his groin. He rolled over, groaning as he reached for the place she'd injured._

_"Wynonna!" That was Waverly's voice. Nicole forced herself to keep her eyes on the criminal. He seemed pretty immobile, but she gave a good smack to his temple with her gun for good measure. Then, she turned toward the voice of her girlfriend- fiancée? Wynonna was on the ground with Waverly kneeling next to her._

_"Oh fuck," Nicole muttered, limping over to the pair as fast as she could despite the fire in her leg. She reached for phone, dialing 911. She reported their location and the situation before kneeling on Wynonna's other side._

_"Ow," Wynonna offered, attempting to look at the bloodstain spreading across her torso._

_"Save your strength," Waverly said, cradling Wynonna's head. Waverly continued to talk to Wynonna, adamant that she wouldn't say goodbye. Nicole watched, giving them the space they needed. Then Wynonna's eyes locked on to hers, filled with malice. Suddenly the youngest Earp was gone._

_"What's happening? Why aren't the medics here yet?" Nicole asked frantically._

_"Because I'm dead, Nicole," Wynonna deadpanned. "Because you killed me."_

_"What? No- no I didn't."_

_"Look at your side, Nicole." She looked down, gasping when she saw blood spreading over her side and seeping through her uniform._

_"No, no Julian fixed me."_

_"Exactly, Nicole. I'm dead because you're alive. You killed me."_

_"No, Wynonna, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen-"_

_"Too late. Waverly will **never**  forgive you."_

_Wynonna was fading fast, and cold darkness spread over Nicole faster than the blood. She looked down at her hands, covered with red, and she didn't know if it was Wynonna's or her own._

_"Wynonna! Wynonna, no! No, I'm sorry!"_

"Nicole!" She shot up, sweat coating her half-clothed body as she choked for air, tangled in cold sheets. It was dark- too dark, and it was hot and cold and Nicole couldn't breathe. Tears were streaming down her face, salt dripping over her lips. Warm hands reached for her face and she flinched away, before realizing it was Waverly-she was in Waverly's bed. "Nicole, you were screaming in your sleep."

The redhead was sitting up, leaning over the side of the bed, heaving in large gulps of air. Her hands were tangled in her hair and she could hear her pulse in her ears. She continued to pant out breaths as a hand rubbed comforting circles on her back. 

"Here, baby," Waverly leaned away for a moment, returning with a half-full water bottle from off her nightstand. Nicole took it gratefully, letting the liquid soothe her burning throat. Waverly came to sit next to her on the edge of the bed, pulling Nicole's head into her chest. 

"You were yelling Wynonna's name- apologizing to her." Nicole tensed against her, breathing picking up again. Waverly noticed the hitch when she exhaled, sensing her panic. "Hey, it's okay. We can talk about it in the morning." Nicole nodded, letting her body melt into Waverly. She decided to savor this while it lasted, for she didn't know if Waverly would still be there once she knew the truth. She'd probably dump her on the spot, tell her to get out, and never speak to her again. And Nicole wouldn't even blame her. 

Waverly was trying to be patient, for Nicole's sake. She knew that if she forced her to talk about it she'd only be more anxious and upset. She'd waited this long, after all, she could handle a few more hours. So, instead of prying, she laid in the darkness with Nicole clinging to her for dear life, and waited to hear the redhead's breathing even out. After a few minutes, she could still hear Nicole's shallow breaths, despite her returned-to-normal heart rate. Waverly tried to calm her back to sleep with no avail, so they just laid there. 

Awake and in silence, they just held each other. Waverly didn't think much of it, only worried about the girl in her arms. Meanwhile, Nicole was terrified this'd be the last time she ever hold her Earp.

* * *

When the morning found them and sunlight started to shine through the curtains, Nicole wormed out of Waverly's grasp to sit near the end of the bed. She found hazel eyes staring at her, surprised that her girlfriend was awake. "Good morning," Waverly mumbled, muffled by the blankets she was buried in. 

"Morning, baby," Nicole said softly. She rubbed her temples, trying to prepare herself for the conversation to come.

"I'm gonna go make us some tea, then we'll talk, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Nicole was in awe at how calm Waverly was. The girl had been a wreck less than a week ago, and although her eyes weren't as bright anymore, she seemed. . .okay. She was back talking to everyone, they didn't have to remind her to eat as much, and she had stopped working herself so hard. It was amazing how much positive impact Nicole had on her just by simply listening. It broke Nicole's heart that Waverly had been deprived of that- of being heard, for so long. 

Despite the pit of dread settling in her stomach, Nicole found herself unable to keep quiet for long. Waverly came back holding two warm mugs and Nicole broke open. "In my nightmare, I was reliving the day Wynonna died. It started when you guys were in Shorty's and I was waiting outside. It was all the same, up until the moments before her death. You faded away, the paramedics didn't show up, and Wynonna started talking to me. She said it was my fault, and that I was the reason she'd died. Then the stab wound in my side came back and we were both just sitting there, bleeding, while she told me over and over again that it was my fault. I tried to apologize and come up with an explanation but I couldn't because it was- _is_ my fault. Then I woke up- or you woke me up."

"Wait. What do you mean, _stab wound_? You got  _stabbed,_ Nicole? And baby, nightmare or not, it is not your fault."

I'll get to the stab wound. And before you try to console me, just let me finish." Nicole waited for a sign of understanding, and Waverly sighed before nodding her head, ushering her to continue.

"So, on the day. . .you know. Kate got shot by Doc and I had to go help her. Then the beekeeper guys stormed the Gardner house and one of them got me," Nicole paused, absentmindedly reaching to touch the spot on her side. There was only a hint of a scar. "I knew I had to get back to you guys though, so I just walked. And walked. I passed out and someone brought me back to the Homestead. Julian and Wynonna were in the barn and Julian used about the last of his power to heal me. He said there'd be a price to pay and Wynonna didn't care."

"So that's what he meant when he said he saved you," Waverly whispered, putting two and two together. "Oh, Nicole, don't tell me you think your injury is the reason we couldn't save Wynonna."

"It is though, Waves. It ended up being her. Her death was the price of my life. And if he hadn't saved me maybe he wouldn't have been so powerless against Bobo. You could've used the ring to save her." Waverly was silent for several long moments and Nicole couldn't stand it. "Say something, please. Yell at me, hit me, do  _something._ "

"Baby," Waverly's voice broke as she moved toward Nicole. The redhead's eyes were shut tightly, face scrunched up like she was waiting for a sting of pain. She deserved all of it.

"I'm so sorry, Wave. I'm so sorry. I keep surviving these things and everyone I care about doesn't. My aunt and uncle, Julian, Wynonna. I killed them."

"Oh, Nicole, this is  _not_ your fault. Julian saved you because that's what he does. And if Wynonna had known she'd die to save you, you know she wouldn't have hesitated. The ring's power was fading even before he saved you, and it might not have even worked anyway. Nicole, you can't feel guilty for surviving."

Tears traced patterns along both of their faces. "Waverly, they're in the ground and I'm still here. That feels a lot like murder to me."

"Hey." Waverly placed her hand on Nicole's knee. "Did you kill all those people at that festival?" Waverly asked seriously. Nicole looked up at her, eyes teary and surprised. "Answer me."

"O-Of course not."

"Were you holding the sword when it. . .when it went through Julian's chest?"

"N-No."

"Were you-" Waverly took a breath. "Were you the one that sent a bullet through Wynonna's stomach?"

"No," Nicole sighed. 

"Then you aren't a killer, Nicole," Waverly concluded, reaching out to touch her face. Nicole leaned heavily into her hand, allowing herself a few moments of solace. "Surviving doesn't make you a killer. I swear to you, this is not your fault."

"So you don't hate me?" Nicole's voice was so soft Waverly wasn't sure she'd heard her correctly.

"How could I, Nic? You didn't do anything except help. You evacuated the town safely, you saved Kate, and you kept me going. I was ready to surrender myself to the garden, and it didn't even end up being necessary. But I was so desperate to be the hero for once that I was willing to do it anyway. It took seeing you, alive and okay, to know that I had to fight, that I couldn't just lay down and die. That there had to be another way. You saved  _me."_

 _"_ You are a hero, Waves. Remember what I told you about Wynonna? It isn't about how you die, it's how you lived. You're my hero, Waverly Earp. Despite what I've done you're still here loving me. You're the best of us, Waverly. And there is no way in heaven or hell I deserve you."

"Don't say that, Nic. Did you miss everything I just said? You were what made me want to fight. Both Earp sisters would've died that day had it not been for you."

"I'm still sorry. I'll never not be sorry and I will apologize everyday to you. That is, if you still want me."

"Of course I want you, Nicole. And you don't have to apologize. I will tell you it is not your fault the same way you tell me. You are not to blame for anyone's death. Not your aunt and uncle, not Julian, and not Wynonna. 

"I love you," Nicole breathed. 

"I love you too. And I know this was hard, but it was necessary. Next time you're feeling guilty or you have a nightmare you gotta talk to me, okay? Baby, please, I know that makes me a total hypocrite because i didn't do a great job talking either, but it hurts to see to see this eating away at you."

"Okay, I will. I promise, but only if you do too."

"I promise. Because yes, Nicole, I miss her like hell. I know you do too. But Wyn would kick both of our asses if she saw us moping like this."

Nicole laughed, wiping her face with her sleeve. "Yeah, she would, wouldn't she?"

Waverly smiled and finally wrapped her arms around the other woman, hugging her tightly. Nicole responded immediately. pulling her into her chest and leaning back against the pillows.

"I'm exhausted," Waverly yawned. "Crying is tiring."

"So are guilt-ridden confessions. Do you wanna go back to sleep? I have a late shift tonight anyway."

"Yeah, but wake me up if you have any more bad dreams, okay?"

"You too."

"I love you, Nic."

"I love you too, baby." Waverly was nestled in Nicole's arms, her own wrapped around the taller woman's torso. Waverly's face was pressed into Nicole's collarbone, lips brushing against cool skin. Nicole's face was buried in long brown hair, while her hands found their purchase on Waverly's waist. Both were more at peace than they had been for weeks, and for the first time in a while, neither of them had any nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nicole made a promise to an Earp that day, but not the one beside her. An apology to the the sister that was gone to soon, and a promise too always love and protect the one Wynonna had left behind. 
> 
>  
> 
> Okay I'm sorry if this totally sucked. I'm also sorry I killed Wynonna. However, I hope you enjoyed, and if you didn't. . . sorry? 
> 
> follow me on tumblr @angelhaught :) -Morgan

**Author's Note:**

> Wow. That one stung a bit. I'm sorry I killed Wynonna, but I had an idea and then I couldn't stop writing it. Thank you for reading. Also, if you wish, you can follow me on tumblr @angelhaught
> 
> thanks again -morgan.


End file.
